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To determine the root cause of these seemingly bizarre facts we
must first examine what it is that comprises the basic personalities
of these two distinct groups of males. What is it then that makes
these boorish men attractive to women? The answer may be partially
found in this negative behaviour itself. The thing about these men
that makes "nice guys" cringe is the fact that they seem
to have absolutely no idea that they are idiots - in fact they obviously
think they're great. These men have no problem asking any woman
out - after all, who could refuse them?… they're God's gift
to the fairer sex. If they are refused, the woman in question is
just a bitch or must be a lesbian in their minds and as a result
they just move on to the next, unphased. Despite the fact that "nice
guys" feel the confidence exhibited by these "jerks"
is unjustified, its existence cannot be denied. This confidence
is what many females find attractive and therefore peaks interest
in investigating those possessing it further.
A basic tenet of salesmanship is that making a sale is dependent
on a transference of beliefs between the two parties involved and
that it is extremely difficult to sell a commodity if the salesman
doesn't believe in that product in the first place. As the dating
game in its initial stages may certainly be likened to a sales pitch,
these "jerks" definitely have the upper hand. This aforementioned
confidence is evident to females and as a result, they are more
predisposed to being "sold" by those exhibiting this trait
- after all, if someone is telling you a product is great, aren't
you more likely to buy it than its unknown neighbour which sits
unadvertised on the shelf? This brings us to the second group of
males...
Most of us like to think of ourselves as "nice guys"
but for many, this label is more of a curse than the positive trait
it should be considered to be. These are the individuals to whom
the phrase "you're such a great friend" is anathema. It
signifies the fact that the woman who just uttered it, the woman
they're interested in dating, isn't interested in them romantically.
Does this sound like an oft repeated scene from your life? Why is
it that so many men, who respect, admire and treat the object of
their desire exceptionally well, time and again find themselves
in this predicament? You think you've played your cards right…
you've taken things slowly, impressed upon this woman the fact that
you're an intelligent, caring, warm human being… and then she
turns to you to ask for advice on how to deal with some ignorant
behaviour exhibited by her "new boyfriend" who she's obviously
crazy about, but just can't seem to get to treat her how she'd like
to be. Do you say "dump the jerk and go out with me?"
No… that would be too obvious you think - better to undermine
their relationship by being an example of what a good man should
be. So, you listen to her woes, offer advice and a shoulder to cry
on. Does this strategy ever work? NOPE. The fact is, you were probably
doomed from the moment she asked you for help. So, why does this
happen? There are several reasons but in general they all boil down
to one: fear.
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